Fishing Around
It's been a really enjoyable weekend. I got to spend a lot of time with ahem, so I'm happy! Oh yeah Saturday we made sushi... actually it was more like I bought the ingredients and she did the hard labour. What to do, it's a sexist world. But I'm really proud to say that the sushi turned out pretty well! Only downside is that there were complaints about the rice being too dry. I admit, I cooked the rice. I'm seriously from Moronia, can cook this cook that make this make that, in the end cannot cook rice properly. Wassup man. Need to screw my head on properly when cooking rice next time round. Mental note made.Something else happened today that really got me thinking about myself. No it's nothing to do with ahem. I was driving home, and along the road I saw a Traffic Police motorbike lying on its side. There was no ambulance there, no body, so I presumed that they had probably taken the dude/dudette away. Instead of slowing down to busy myself with the amazing sight of an accident, as any true blue Singaporean would do, I revved the car and sped away. Next, I whipped out my mobile, and sent a text to my friend. It read "Woohoo! TP bike buang along xxx rd. haha."
An hour ago, I found out that the policeman involved in the accident passed away. Still not too sure about what exactly happened, but the first thing that came to my mind was the mandatory "Oh shit! I couldn't have said such a thing at a better time." However, as I was driving home, I thought about what had happened, and I realised something very disturbing. I don't feel the least bit remorseful for being elated, nor do I feel the least bit sad for the policeman and his family. Instead, I felt a tinge of indignance mixed with slight satisfaction. This has happened to me before, I'm sure, but this is the first time that I'm so disturbed by it.
I've realised that I cannot find it in my nature to actually think of law enforcers as normal every day people who have lives of their own and who should be thanked for keeping our streets safe and what not. I've been so conditioned to fear as well as despise them so much since an early age that I can't even find the compassion that should be inherent when faced with a situation like this, and this is something really disturbing. I shall strive to find in myself this compassion. It is really rather worrying.
This brings me to my next point. If there's one of me out here in Seletar who thinks this way, surely there are many others who feel the same way, especially the beneficiaries of the Yellow Ribbon Project. I'm sure some of them experience the same emotions as I do. Or maybe they don't, and I'm just trying to make myself feel better by attempting to solicit accomplices.
Alright, let's just suppose that there're such people out there. If so, wouldn't all these law enforcers basically be extremely unappreciated? They will be like outcasts. They're supposed to be revered by the common man, but somehow their status of authority has given way to fear and in some cases loathing. Do you think they really like living like that? Maybe some of them do. Maybe some of them actually enjoy the false sense of power given to them, not knowing that actually the real power doesn't lie in their hands, but some greater power, something they might not even realise or understand.
It's sad really, how for some of us our whole lives we're just fishing around for some things to attach to us and with which we can form our characters, and every now and then something gets thrown in our faces, catapulting us off-track.
Hopefully, in time I'll be able to find the strength to really forgive, and to view people equally.
posted by Da Buffalo! @ 12:01 AM
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