RETURN OF FARTMAN!

Smelling Me Softly

The past couple of days have been an interesting exposure to the olfactory nerve of the general populace. It all started when a normal talk-cock session threw up the question of "How do you smell your nose?" courtesy of Kelvin. Apparently I've been doing it my whole life, just that I haven't actually noticed that I was smelling my nose. It's really simple actually. Just pull your face down south, and a distinct odour will hit you. It's followed you all these years; you can't be mistaken.

So I return home after that episode more obsessed than I was before about smelling my nose. It's definitely not a pleasant smell, but somehow it's addictive. It's addictive to the point of annoyance in fact. However, a night's rest soon put this recurring buzzing thought out of my head. Until the next morning.

Kelvin and I were hitching a ride from my mum to the station, and Le Pooch decided that he wanted to go for a little spin as well. As always, he gets over-excited on every car ride, running all over the seats, licking all the things in sight, and basically falling all over the place everytime a corner is made or when the brakes are hit.

Le Pooch also seems to think that when we take him for a ride, he's entitled to follow us wherever we're going. With all the strenght in his little scrawny four-legged frame, he'll attempt to rush out of the car when the door opens. This time was no exception, but he added a little touch to the drama. As he bolted towards the door, he jumped over Kelvin, in the process rubbing his balls against Kelvin's arm.

A trait of Kelvin's: always obsessively examine all foreign substances through the olfactory senses. He took a deep whiff of the remnance of testicular fluids. Frowning and pulling his face toward his nose, he commented harshly on the odour of Bagel's balls. It was obvious the whiff was not well-received.

Like the genius that he is, he attempted to rid his arm of the smell by washing it out with rainwater. However, the balls cultivated an immense amount of smelly cells. They didn't go away that easily.

The following day, I was in the car when the thought of Kelvin's obsession with smells popped into my head. I smiled to myself, turning my head to the left. For a moment I peeked through the window of the Merc SLK next to me. The lady driving it was digging into her arm pits, and then very subtly smearing her nose with the sensuous precipitates of her perspiration.

Ahh, the sweet smell of life.

Till next time, goodbye world.

posted by Da Buffalo! @ 1:54 AM